My world collapsed in February 2006 when the doctor announced I had a relapse of breast cancer after 12 blissful years in remission. At fourth stage, the cancer had spread to the internal mammary nodes and sternum.

I was 38 years old when I underwent surgery in 1994 for third stage cancer to remove my right breast and 11 lymph nodes. However, surgery was out of the question during the relapse as the tumour, slightly smaller than my fist, was sandwiched between the heart and the lung.

After crying for hours, I realised I didn’t want to die. I was neither ready to meet God nor prepared to leave my wonderful husband and son.

For 30 years, my life revolved around deadlines in advertising. I worshipped my career as though it was my god, weakening my relationship with God and my loved ones.

I felt completely hopeless as statistics indicate fourth stage cancer patients usually die within months and only two in ten will live beyond five years.

There was no one else I could turn to but God. As I was earnestly seeking him, he spoke to me:

“God sent his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.”
                                                                   —Psalm 107:20

 Clearly, God was telling me through his Word that THERE IS HOPE and I did not have to fear death. Thus, I immersed myself in God’s Word while I underwent treatment from February to August 2006.

Excruciating

I suffered intensely from the side effects of radiation and chemotherapy. I couldn’t even lift a glass of water. There were days when I had to take six painkillers daily as the tumour pain was excruciating; I constantly felt like I was being cut by a knife. I yelled for Jesus to soothe my pain and enable me to sleep. He was so real to me when the pain became unbearable!

At the end of the treatment, the CT scan revealed that the chemotherapy had failed to reduce the cancer mass. What a disappointment!

“I really don’t know how long you’ll live. It could be months or years. I suggest you enjoy life. Live one day at a time,” said the doctor gently.

My husband and I cried for three days and nights. In my weakest moment, Satan pounced on me:

“There’s no hope. Time to give up! You’re fighting a losing battle.”
My heart was heavy and tormented; the spirit of death hovered around me. I felt that I was fighting an uphill battle with a fierce enemy. But I knew the Holy Spirit within me is greater than the evil power.

So I began rebuking Satan:
“I will not have to fight this battle. The battle belongs to the Lord. All I have to do is take my position, stand firm and see his deliverance.”
                                                        —2 Chronicles 20:17

Month after month, I confessed God’s Word aloud until the spirit of death left me. My physical pain was so overwhelming that I felt discouraged every time. However, as I praised and worshipped God, I experienced an inexplicable joy that overflowed my body, spirit and soul. As I marvelled how the Holy Spirit could filI me with such joy despite my cancer, I began to ask God what purpose he has for my life.

God then purposed in my heart to do two things: firstly to write a book called There is Hope to encourage those suffering from cancer. Secondly, to start a cancer support group.

Both projects required a leap of faith on my part, but I went ahead as I sensed a clear calling from God.

God seemed to be telling me:
“You start and I will give you the strength and the wisdom. As I have comforted you, you can in turn comfort others.”

Victory

In obedience, I started the Elpizo Cancer Support Group in July 2007. Elpizo is a Greek word for Hope. Twice a month, we meet in a lovely bungalow opposite Assunta Hospital to strengthen our faith by praying and worshipping God, reminding each other to have hope in him. Often, pastors conduct Holy Communion to encourage us.

At a meeting, Agi encouraged me with a vision she had as she was praying for me. She saw me as a flower bursting with pollen. A strong wind came and scattered these pollen grains throughout the earth. Now I know my job is to sow the seeds and he will water them and make them grow.

During my painful experience in battling cancer, God has allowed me to go through the pit of suffering for a greater purpose—to reach out to cancer patients and declare his glory.

Despite having to carry the painful ‘stone’ across my chest, I went ahead to do His calling, even visiting cancer patients because He has spoken to me:

“He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” -   
                       —Psalm 126:6

Imagine my joy as I see signs of healing even as I am doing his work. The ‘sheaves’ I am carrying include the fact that all five of my blood cancer tumour markers are within the range, which means the cancer is under control.

Two months after starting Elpizo Cancer Support Group, my CT scan on 11 September 2007 showed that the tumour has miraculously shrunk by 70 percent. Another scan in February 2008 showed that the tumour had shrunk further by 96 percent to the size of a hazelnut!

Isn’t he amazing and faithful to his Word! No wonder his Word says:
“You shall see the goodness of the
 Lord in the land of the living.
Take heart, be strong and wait
upon the Lord.”
        — Psalm 27:13-14